How long have you been aware of your ADHD? Or been able to give it a name?

The triple whammy: ADHD and all the responsibilities

I ask that because so many women I know were recently fielding the unholy trinity of perimenopause, childcare and demanding jobs, only to have a late-life ADHD diagnosis popped on top like a mouldy cherry. Just when they were hoping to take a breath, prioritise themselves, and perhaps even start writing that book. So maybe it’s a relatively new concept for you. A new label. Not designer, but one to carry all the time.

ADHD and writing

What’s also true is we’ve been like this all our lives. When we pore back over school reports now, we probably see the signs. Back then my main terms of reference for neurodivergence were Bart Simpson and Rainman so no wonder I didn’t make a connection. I didn’t understand what it meant for me – why I had problems finishing a novel, hitting deadlines, why rejection stung so much.

Everyone's a little ADHD, right?

Like the title of Kat Brown’s excellent book states, It's Not A Bloody Trend, but there was even less understanding even a decade ago, even five years ago. How many of us were diagnosed during a global pandemic? That was fun.

We’d lived a life where we got really good at masking, and just accepted the tiredness that accompanies it. We probably didn’t tell anyone how much we struggled with things that other people seemed to find easy. Everyone else was “coping fine”. Right?

Not right. So much wrong.

Whether you’re self-diagnosed or you’ve managed to negotiate the hurdles of getting a formal diagnosis, I’d love to know where you are in the post-diagnosis phases below:

Phase One: Excitement/Relief “This makes so much sense. Also my children make sense. No wonder laundry is so difficult, never mind writing.”

Phase Two: Investigation “I have bought seven new books about ADHD.”

Phase Three: Frustration “Well, this is rubbish. Also I have not read any of those books.”

Phase Four: Acceptance “I now own three sets of Loops and two pairs of noise-cancelling headphones.”

Phase Five: Application <Engages focus, creates a whole made-up world and a cast of engaging characters, and writes the hell out of their story>

You’re definitely not alone. That doesn’t mean you necessarily know where to start. I can help with that. Wherever you are on the journey, come on in.